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Watch The Vampire Diaries – Resident Evil Online S05E18

The Vampire Diaries - Resident Evil
In “Resident Evil” Stefan and Elena experience unsettling dreams of the life they might have had together; Bonnie has a disturbing encounter with Grams; Enzo searches for a woman he loved decades ago; Bonnie learns that Jeremy is working with Liv; Matt has a terrifying encounter with inhabitants of the Other Side.

Interestingly enough, subconscious Elena dreams of Stefan, back in a time when the two of them didn’t know each other ? and get this, in this alternate universe, her parents are still alive as well. Talk about fantasyland. But she’s convinced these dreams are more than just her imagination.

Enzo and Damon talked about their respective lady problems over a game of pool at Salvatore Mansion, and then we cut back to Elena, who had a vision of Stefan walking her home after a movie she couldn’t concentrate on watching. It’d been their first date, and they wanted to see each other again. It was nice to see Elena’s house one last time — and a surprise when Elena said that it was her father who’d turned on the porch lights to put an end to the perfectly-framed first kiss.

Caroline’s voice snapped Elena out of the vision, and then Miss Forbes used said voice to tell Elena that she was probably just fantasizing about Stefan because she’d broken up with Damon. But then Stefan called Caroline to tell her about his vision, and they realized something was really going on.

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Watch Surviving Jack – Rhythm is a Dancer Online S01E04

Surviving Jack - Rhythm is a Dancer
Surviving Jack Episode 4 “Rhythm is a Dancer” ? It’s homecoming night, but Frankie is bummed that his crush, Heather (guest star Lili Reinhart), is promised to another date and Rachel is protesting the school’s “No Grinding” policy. Meanwhile, with the kids out of the house, Jack and Joanne (Rachael Harris) are planning a passionate night to themselves in the all-new “Rhythm is a Dancer” episode of SURVIVING JACK airing Thursday, April 17 (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.

Father knows best?well, sort of. SURVIVING JACK is a new single-camera comedy based on best-selling author Justin Halpern’s autobiographical book, “I Suck at Girls.” Set in 1990s Southern California, the ensemble series is about a man becoming a dad, as his son is becoming a man, in a time before “coming of age” was something you could Google.

JACK DUNLEVY (Emmy Award nominee Christopher Meloni, “True Blood” “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”), ex-military and an oncologist, is a no-bull kind of guy. He sees little, if any, need to sugar-coat the truth. Up to this point, Jack’s been the parent who’s left for work early, come home late, eaten the big piece of chicken, yelled at his kids and gone to bed.

But after years of deftly raising and running the family, his wife, JOANNE, is going back to law school, leaving Jack as a full-time parent for the very first time. Jack’s teenage son, FRANKIE (Connor Buckley, “Deception”), is just starting his freshman year in high school. Lanky, quick-witted, self-deprecating and not entirely sure of himself, all Frankie wants to do is fly under the radar. But over the summer, he grew 10 inches, threw a no-hitter against a rival team and started to attract girls ? all of which put him in some awkward situations ? especially when the only base he’s ever been to is on the field. Fortunately, no matter how embarrassing the situations Frankie gets himself into are, Jack is there to pick up the pieces and lead his son to manhood?with the least gentle hand possible.

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Watch Portlandia – Late in Life Drug Use Online S04E08

Portlandia - Late in Life Drug Use
Portlandia‘s latest episode, “Late in Life Drug Use” features a number of returning guest stars, including Kyle MacLachlan, Jeff Goldblum and Vanessa Bayer, but they’re all upstaged by Queens of the Stone Age’s Josh Homme, who channels his inner dudeness-with a twist.

Homme plays Carrie’s brother, also named Josh, who’s only recently come out to his family. He’s bringing new boyfriend Nick (Swardson) with him to Portland for a visit. Carrie and Fred look forward to home decorating tips and fashion advice from their house guests, but as soon as Josh and Nick arrive on their doorstep, it’s obvious that Carrie’s bro is a bro. And Nick is, too. They’re X-box playing slobs who met during a bar fight at an ESPN Zone. Forget about French press or espresso shots in the morning; they’re just fine with Jaeger bombs for breakfast.

The titular sketch about drug use takes us to one of Portlandia’s less prolific couples, well-meaning but overreaching parents Brendan and Michelle. After a guest at their dinner party tells them the story of a weekend drug experience (a disappointingly superfluous use of Jeff Goldblum), he plants the question in their heads of whether or not they’re too old to do drugs for the first time. They decide they’re not, and pour a lot of effort into making the most carefully planned unexpected event. (“I want to approach this like we would buy a car.”) As always, it’s reliably funny for Portlandia to walk through how much its residents overthink activities that are supposed to be fun and simple, and Brownstein gets good mileage out of trying to plan a drug experience around dentist trips and meetings.

One of the more creative and humorous sketches involves iris and bicycle boy Spike (who’s growing on us this season). They decide to eat at a Thai restaurant with a “Best of Portland 2013″ sticker on the door, bestowed by Bridgetown Weekly. The food’s inedible, and Spike and Iris decide-as the restaurant workers sneak out the door-to go to Bridgetown Weekly to lodge a complaint about their “awards.” At the alt-weekly’s offices, they’re greeted by the same staff, who try and convince the two that they’re legit and not just operating to give themselves good reviews.

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Watch The Crazy Ones – The Lighthouse Online S01E22

The Crazy Ones - The Lighthouse
After a first season with varying ratings, The Crazy Ones‘ future is up in the air. On the one hand, it wasn’t renewed with the pack of shows that were picked up already. On the other, we are getting an hour-long season finale- that must mean something, right?

The ratings for The Crazy Ones can’t be what CBS was expecting to get when they got Robin Williams to return to series regular television alongside David E. Kelley and Sarah Michelle Gellar. It was supposed to build up the ratings tentpole for the expanded comedy block on Thursdays. And yes, it had a huge opening. But it never could muster the same kind of ratings. It was on the steady decline all season long. It was one of the few shows CBS didn’t renew last month. It swapped time slots with the very old Two and a Half Men which has pulled in better ratings than it did.

And now, it is ending its first season a month before everything else so CBS can plug in Bad Teacher next week (but boy do those commercials make that show look terrible.) Which is all a roundabout way of saying that The Crazy Ones probably won’t be back next year. The odds aren’t dead. They are just leaning more to cancellation than renewal at this point.

“The Lighthouse” ? When a corporation wants to buy out Lewis, Roberts+Roberts, Gordon calls in the board to vote, and Simon’s ex-wife and Sydney’s mom has the final say. Brad Garrett returns as Gordon Lewis and Marilu Henner guest stars as Simon’s ex-wife and Sydney’s mother.

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Watch Workaholics – Friendship Anniversary Online S04E13

Workaholics - Friendship Anniversary
Knowing and being friends with someone for seven years is a big deal, but making it for seven years as roommates is a gigantic accomplishment. According to the guys of Workaholics, this also means that they are common law married, even though common law marriages don’t actually exist in California. Though we’ve only seen four of these years, we can imagine the other years were filled with booze, weed and wacky adventures that had no long-term consequences. But with living together for that long, you also get the seven-year itch, which in their fourth season finale, we see in “Friendship Anniversary.”

Quite a bit, really-this is tied for the worst episode of the season. I’m tempted to grade it even lower than what I refer to-for several reasons-as “the dead, rotting skunk episode” just for the sheer amount of squandering going on here. But I’ll let the two episodes smeared with day-glo varmint guts argue about it between themselves. They deserve each other.

Blake goes to spend the night at Gillian’s, who turns out to be an insane dog show better who treats Blake like crap. Anders ends up sleeping in his car outside a park, where he tells a bunch of underage kids to quit drinking, to which they tip him over when he uses the nearby portable toilet. Adam decides to continue the party by going to a bar, where he unknowingly gets picked up by a guy who clearly wants to have sex with him, which he doesn’t even realize even when he’s in bed with the man and there’s a poking underneath the sheets.

Okay-forget American Gladiat-Ders. The real plot must be that the mailman, bringing their lease (and who is this absentee, very lax landlord, by the way?) and making them realize that they’ve been together for seven years-making them “common-law married” according to Adam’s logic. Except that this realization goes nowhere, instead leading to a friend breakup scene so abrupt as to invalidate the promise of this second setup as well.

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Watch The 100 – Twilight’s Last Gleaming Online S01E05

The 100 - Twilight's Last Gleaming
After Clarke (Eliza Taylor) and Finn’s (Thomas McDonell) tryst, she wants to get up but he wants to lie in bed all day. She tells him she wanted him to be her first and they kiss some more.

On the Ark, Chancellor Jaha (Isaiah Washington) tells Abby (Paige Turco) that Kane’s (Henry Ian Cusick) population reduction called Section 17 will begin. They will eliminate 320 people. Abby wants to wait to hear from Raven (Lindsey Morgan) on the Earth but Jaha’s not willing to take the risk.

Yet nothing we’d seen prior to this had been established between the two besides some early flirtation and bonding. If they had chalked it up to them getting together because of the extreme situation, but added in a requisite, “but maybe there’s something really there…”, it would have at least sold more than putting so much meaning on it so quickly. Especially since we knew Raven was on her way, just in time to make this situation much more of a clich? love triangle. It was unfortunate, and initially undercut the interesting element that was Raven’s arrival.

Technologically blind to what’s happening on the planet below them, the Ark’s leaders ? Clarke’s widowed mother, Abby; the Chancellor, Jaha; and his shadowy second in command, Kane ? are faced with difficult decisions about life, death and the continued existence of the human race. For the 100 young people on Earth, however, the alien planet they’ve never known is a mysterious realm that can be magical one moment and lethal the next. With the survival of the human race entirely in their hands, THE 100 must find a way to transcend their differences, unite and forge a new path on a wildly changed Earth that’s primitive, intense and teeming with the unknown.

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Watch The Americans – New Car Online S02E08

The Americans - New Car
There are so many levels of deception required in espionage when it comes down to it, the lies can almost be seen as truths in the end. You have to believe what you’re saying on some level to truly sell it, even if it’s a lie.

In The Americans Season 2 Episode 8 things got even more twisted as all of the Americans and Russians working on the various projects started to work so closely it’s almost as if they’re working on the same side without knowing it. It’s fascinating.

The sense of elation I felt at knowing this great show will be around a while longer (and hopefully live up to the “on our schedule for five years or more” vow of FX’s straight-shooting PR chief) comes in a nice contrast to “New Car,” an episode whose prevailing emotions are despair and frustration that other people don’t believe as deeply as you in the things that you think matter, and that even when they do, belief alone can’t prevent great tragedy.

Now Philip is disillusioned with both the cause and the country he lives in. Toward the end of the episode, he convinces Elizabeth not to kill a sanitation worker they kidnapped to gain access to the Contra training camps. Philip has always been the more compassionate one but, even for him, this decision seems reckless.

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Watch Supernatural – Meta Fiction Online S09E18

Supernatural - Meta Fiction
Supernatural continues tonight on the CW with a brand new episode called”Meta Fiction.” On it Metatron tries to get Castiel to join forces with him. Meanwhile, Sam and Dean capture Gadreel.

On last episode Dean struggled with the after effects of the Mark of Cain. Meanwhile, Sam heard about a case where straight-laced people were turning into violent murderers. Sam suspected possession and suggested to Dean that they investigate, but Dean told him to go without him. While interviewing the local townsfolk, Sam met an elderly woman named Julia, who told him the Men of Letters came to town in 1958. Josie told Sam the story of a young man named Henry Winchester and his female companion, Josie Sands. While Sam was away, Crowley tested Dean. Did you watch last week’s episode? We did and we recapped it right here for you.

Those words from Metatron begin the episode, as does a special title card. Castiel follows the call of a sigil, only to find angels dead and one alive to tell him about an angel offering a deal: join Metatron, fight for him and return to heaven, or slaughter. She’s heard of him and is hoping, like other angels, that Castiel will be their leader, but while he wants to make Metatron pay, he refuses to be a leader. He sends a photo of the sigil to the Winchesters, and Sam discovers the same symbol at other crime scenes. Gadreel’s in Utah, and there are two possible next stops, so the brothers are taking one while Castiel takes another.

The angels hit the road, with Gabriel giving a rundown of what he’s seen and claiming that he doesn’t want to run anymore. He wants to lead, and he’s going to need soldiers. When they stop at a Gas-n-Sip, they run into trouble: minions of Metatron. Gabriel tries to send Castiel away while he holds them off. Does that all sound just a bit too good to be true? Yes, right? Well, that’s because it is. Castiel notices that his coat isn’t torn where it was earlier. Continuity errors, they’ll get you every time. No, none of this is real. But is Gabriel dead? All we get is a wiggle of his eyebrows.

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Watch American Dad – She Swill Survive Online S09E16

American Dad - She Swill Survive
Last night’s episode was titled “She Swill Survive”. It is the sixteenth episode in this tenth season and it almost put me to sleep, guys. American Dad has been on a bit of a viewership decline this season, and it’s episodes like this that may explain it.

In this episode we see Stan return from a long day at work, only to find Hayley awaking at four in the afternoon. Concerned that she lacks the skills to take care of herself in life, Stan forces her to take a job and at Roger’s bar and start paying rent. Stan is also having a rough time at work because he wants to be part of Mr. Bullock’s “Inner Circle”, an exclusive club where plenty of fun times are had. When Stan learns that Mr. Bullock has been making drunken confessions to Hayley at the bar, he plants a microphone and uses it as a way to get himself into the Inner Circle.

Meanwhile, Steve and his pals settle in to watch Wolfgang Petersen’s classic “Das Boot” with Klaus. Just before they start the film, a minor slip of the tongue sets off a chain reaction of Germanic folk tales that prevent the boys from actually watching the movie at all.

I feel like I’ve been hard on American Dad these past few weeks. We’re winding down on this season, and it doesn’t appear to me that it will end well. I haven’t really enjoyed this season as a whole, to be honest. Admittedly there are a few great ones, but they seem few and far between.

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Watch Nurse Jackie – Sink or Swim Online S06E01

Nurse Jackie - Sink or Swim
Jackie is swimming laps. She comes up for air and then goes for another lap. In the locker room, she grabs a towel and heads to her locker. She opens it and sees the pills she got with her towels. She walks back to the attendant and tells her it was a little light and gives her some money. Grace snorts a line of something and then wipes the residue away. She puts on her eyeliner. There’s a knock at the door ? it’s her Dad ready to get her off to school. She kisses him. Jackie pops a couple of pills by her locker then dresses and heads out to the workout area.

Frank is there working out and they discuss plans but he has to work and she has the girls. She says she’ll call him, they smooch, hug, swap I love you’s and she leaves. She arrives at the hospital and heads in. Thor asks if she’s been at the gym and he tells her she makes him feel like a slob. Gloria and Ike greet her and Zoe tells her about a kid she’s having problem doing a blood draw on. Zoe tells her she’s like a different person when she goes to the gym and she says that’s why she goes.

Jackie comes to take the blood and the mom is annoyed and doesn’t want his blood drawn. She demands to talk to a doctor and Ike is there and tells her they do need the blood sample. Jackie tells the mom to rub the boy’s neck and she does and it’s over quickly. Someone comes in moaning and call for a doctor. Carrie stands to help but Ike glares her back to her seat.

Fitch asks if she’s off probation soon and she says they are going to let her know. She says it’s been months and she feels tied down. Fitch has a plaque and he says he gave a scholarship to his alma mater and she asks why and he says it makes him happy. She tells him America isn’t happy and that Mexico is happier then scoffs. She asks Fitch to help her and he reminds her she tried to sue him.

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