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Family Guy

The Griffin household includes two teenagers, a cynical dog who is smarter than everyone else, and an evil baby who makes numerous attempts to eradicate his mother. Heading up this eclectic household is Peter Griffin. Peter does his best to do what’s right for the family, but along the way, he makes mistakes that are the stuff of legends.

Family.Guy.S12E17.HDTV.x264-EXCELLENCE.mp4

Watch Family Guy – The Most Interesting Man In The World Online

http://www.seat42f.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Family-Guy-Season-12-Episode-17-4.jpg  The episode starts out slow, with Peter taking Stewie to the park for some quality father-son bonding time, only to abandon him for the Clam (and a car full of clowns). So far, so boring. But Peter takes the wrong baby back from the park, and Lois throws a completely justifiable fit—Peter may claim repeatedly that he’s not an idiot, but yeah, we’ve been watching the show long enough to know that he is (the other baby, however, does not—Peter tells him he works at NASA). In an effort to make himself more interesting and less of a dolt, Peter goes to Chicago on a business trip and heads out to experience the world.

Peter’s visit to the Art Institute in Chicago was, hands-down, the funniest bit the show has done this season. Partly, that’s because I live in Chicago and have spent some time there, so I’m inclined to give it additional credit here. Mostly, though, it’s because of the welcome vocal presence of the sadly deceased Dennis Farina, who narrates Peter’s tour through the museum with aplomb. Farina will be forever linked to Chicago, and he’s a perfect choice for this extended sequence, spending most of the tour talking about the food he’s eating and wondering how marble statues of women can have carved vaginas. Mostly, Farina is able to sell and elevate the crassness of the normal Family Guy dialogue. If only he were still around, and if only Family Guy got voice actors as gifted as him more frequently.

After his Farina-fueled epiphany, Peter becomes intelligent and cultured, visiting all of the world’s major cities and, in a great little cutaway, renting a car with the radio stuck on NPR. (“How was the car?” “Coastal and superior.”) Smart Peter is a good variation on the character, one I’m sure has been done before, but that does allow for some actual contrast in a really poorly-drawn character—whatever Peter may be any given week, he’s never not an idiot. His newfound intelligence gives the writers the opportunity to make another solid “Brian is a blowhard” gag, in which he can’t name a single book he’s read (this is one of my favorite recurring jokes, dating back to his novel). It doesn’t hurt that Peter’s futile attempts at getting his family to not laugh at words like “Balzac” is reminiscent of one of my favorite episodes ofHow I Met Your Mother’s “Robots Versus Wrestlers.” The tension between smart things and the ways in which they sound dirty is rarely not funny.

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Watch Family Guy – Call Girl Online S11E14

Family Guy - Call Girl
Chris builds a birdhouse, and Peter hangs it up, and they happily watch as lots of little birds move into it, until an falcon swoops down and eats them all. They are horrified.

That night, Peter reveals to the family that he has become a falconer, and introduces his falcon Xerxes.

He shows it to Quagmire, and Xerxes quickly attacks him. Peter says that Xerxes mainly eats rodents, and that’s probably why he was after Quagmire. Xerxes knocked him to the ground and dug into his pants, eager to get at the rodents that Quagmire was hiding. However, as he was screaming, the rodent escaped “out the front”, and fled from his mouth.

Inside the house, Xerxes lands on Stewie’s head, and he panics, asking Brian what to do. Brian says there’s nothing he can, and just hope he doesn’t stand on his soft spot. He does, and Stewie’s skull sinks in.

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Watch Family Guy – Chris Cross Online S11E13

Family Guy - Chris Cross
Family Guy has never really been renowned for its tight plot structure, but tonight’s episode feels like a particularly shaggy entry. While the tale of Stewie and Brian’s burgeoning love affair with the ballads of Canadian songstress Anne Murray has a discernible beginning, middle, and end, the main Chris-centric plot is less a story than it is a trio of loosely connected set-pieces. The first set of gags revolves around Chris’ unpopularity at high school because he doesn’t have the right shoes. Once he steals money from his mother’s purse to get new shoes, the high school story is dropped entirely to make way for Meg blackmailing him and forcing him to do her bidding.

And once Chris can no longer endure his sister’s increasingly disturbing demands, he runs away to live with the elderly predator Herbert, who soon finds Chris a less-than-ideal houseguest (and, yes, illicit lover, but I’d prefer not to think too much about that). There’s a vague attempt at the end to spin a sentimental moment out of Chris and Meg’s sibling reunion, but other than that, the Herbert subplot doesn’t really have anything to do with what comes before it, and there’s no payoff for Chris’ earlier theft.

Part of the problem is that Chris really doesn’t have a personality, at least not as depicted in “Chris Cross.” Admittedly, outside of Stewie and Brian, most of the show’s characters tend to be one-note, but at least they have that one note. Chris’ defining trait is usually his stupidity, and of course, Chris has to be pretty damn idiotic to think going to live with Herbert is a good idea.

But whereas the episode plays up his obliviousness while living with Herbert, Chris is relatively sharp when dealing with Meg’s particular brand of crazy, so there’s little sense of Chris as a consistent character with coherent motivations, even purely in the context of the episode. When the episode needs Chris and Herbert to act like a squabbling couple, Chris gets a joke-mandated jolt of personality, but before that, he’s often a blank slate, barely reacting to the things his schoolmates, Meg, and Herbert say and do.

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Watch Family Guy – Valentines Day in Quahog Online S11E12

Family Guy - Valentines Day in Quahog
“Valentine’s Day: A day of love, right in the middle of Black History Month.”

We are treated to a very special Valentine’s Day intro, spoofing most generic romantic comedies, especially “Valentine’s Day”.

Lois suggests that she and Peter spend the whole day in bed because it is Valentine’s Day.

Meg tells Brian and Stewie that she has a date with a guy she met on the internet. Stewie gives some dating advice when the doorbell rings. The man, Toby, flatters Meg, saying she’s much prettier than her picture, and they head off.

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Watch Family Guy – The Giggity Wife Online S11E11

Family Guy - The Giggity Wife
The latest episode of “Family Guy” drove the joke home started earlier in the evening on “The Cleveland Show”?or came pretty close, if you get my meaning. Basically, “The Giggity Wife” was like a cross between “What Happens in Vegas” and the indie comedy “Humpday” with Quagmire waking up hitched to a skanky hooker and having to fake being gay to get out of it when the woman wanted to make a go of things.

Peter, of course, had a field day with all of this, laying on the insults fast and furious. Two of my faves include: “Your wife is a human toilet” (um, eew- especially given the visuals that went with it) and “I’ll bet she’s what happens if you put a Hooters girl in a microwave on high.” Not that the hilariously-dubbed Charmese was any easier on herself: “I got to check on a whistling sound” she told everyone at dinner, after confessing she couldn’t have kids because she’d “been stabbed in the vagina.” (!) Stay classy, “Family Guy.”

In no time, Quagmire was screaming to get out of the arrangement, especially after the least effective makeover montage in history. Some people just can’t be helped, and it wasn’t long before Quagmire was declaring himself “super-duper-double gay.” Alas, Charmese smelled a rat- or maybe just herself- and demanded proof in exchange for a divorce. So, naturally Quagmire turned to pal Peter for help.

The road to the Quagmire drunken marriage plot takes up the first act. Joe confiscates a Harvard dining hall ID, so he, Peter, and Quagmire go to Boston. After admiring Harvard’s campus-Peter recognizes the school not for its litany of leading alumni, but for Fred Grandy (Gopher from The Love Boat), Amy Brenneman, and Ted Kaczynski-stop in at a college bar, get bored, and then go to a strip club and get hammered. When they wake up in Quahog the next day, after a still drunk Peter tries to explain his drunk driving to Stewie, Quagmire discovers that he brought a hooker back with him, and that they’re married.

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Watch Family Guy – Brian’s Play Online S11E10

Family Guy - Brian's Play
This episode of Family Guy, simply entitled “Brian’s Play,” was off-kilter and left me feeling uncomfortable for many reasons, even though I think I enjoyed what it brought to the table.

It starts with the first sequence. Brian writes a play? It’s sure to be hackneyed and terrible, as that’s how the show has presented Brian’s writing. And yes, his play, “A Passing Fancy”, was in fact quite hackneyed. But the audience thought it was rip-roaringly good, an irony that the show rarely possesses. This is usually more in-your-face with its comedy. Heck, it literally announces its pop culture references that it is about to make.

Then, there’s the fact that Brian had so much success, and then it all comes crashing down because of Stewie and his actually-brilliant play. He is an evil genius after all, so him having writing talent isn’t a surprise, and I suppose it makes some sense that it would happen here, even if it came otherwise out of left field.

What really surprised me was was Brian’s response, provoked by an out-of-nowhere cameo from his gay cousin Jasper (remember him?) that led him to destroy Stewie’s confidence by telling him it was terrible, and then destroying his only copy of it.

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Watch Family Guy – Space Cadet Online S11E08

Family Guy - Space Cadet
Given that this episode of “Family Guy” focused on Chris, by far the nerdiest of the gang (although I suppose Meg is a close second, only in a different way altogether), it seemed appropriate that the episode, “Space Cadet” would open with a Monty Python tribute. As the second of his shows in the last couple of months to feature such a tribute- the other being “The Cleveland Show”- it would seem that Seth MacFarlane was on a Python jag his own damn self. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, to adapt a phrase from another much beloved cult show.

Alas, it was not in fact, a full-blown tribute but rather more of a one-off joke, not unlike the one in the aforementioned “Cleveland.” Too bad. If they can do not one, but several “Star Wars” spoofs, why not a Python tribute? It could be fun seeing the gang speak with terrible British accents! Oh well, it was not to be, but that’s not to say the episode was terrible.

Instead, what we got was a plotline in which even Lois acknowledged that Chris wasn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch. Unfortunately for Chris, he overheard that conversation between his mom and dad, leading to a shame spiral that led him to want/need to attend a “special” school when he started to have issues at school. With a bevy of unpleasant choices at hand, Chris understandably went for the most fun of the bunch: Space Camp.

It was only a matter of time before chaos ensued, ultimately leading to the entire family getting launched into space in the space shuttle! Thankfully, autopilot got our beloved fam back on terra firma, but not without a few high-jinks along the way, including Meg getting “accidentally” shot into space like the alien at the end of, um, “Alien.”

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Watch Family Guy – Jesus, Mary & Joseph Online S11E08

Family Guy - Jesus, Mary & Joseph
Family Guy has done Christmas episodes before ? maybe nothing quite to the degree of American Dad’s insane Christmas episodes, but they’ve certainly been standouts. This year, the show combines its Christmas tradition with another one: its telling of stories with the cast playing the roles of other people. This time, it’s a satirical take on the birth of Jesus on “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!”

Really, it felt a little predictable. Plenty of crude references were made to the fact that Joseph may have been dating the attractive Mary, though she was still a virgin ? though it’s implied they did other things. Joking references to the culture of Biblical times were made. There were “Cher is old” jokes, for some reason. Various members of the cast appeared in a wide variety of Biblical roles. There were laughs, but it was pretty light satire.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” is a thrifty attempt at that same kind of episode structure-one that dates back to “The Griffin Family History” in the first post-renewal season finale from 2006, when the family locked themselves in their panic room. This time, Peter tells his version of Jesus’ birth, focusing mostly on Joseph courting Mary while mixing in plenty of jokes about how archaic and barbaric ancient civilization was at the time. Peter is Joseph, Lois is Mary, Joe, Quagmire, and Cleveland (I like when he comes back for these kinds of episodes) are the three wise men, Carter is Herod, Stewie is the baby Jesus, and a few notable recurring characters show up in minor roles.

There is so much potential for a fun episode, since Family Guy has used this type of episode so well in the past. But the whole plot is so stripped down to bare bones because of other distractions-at one point in the second act there are back-to-back endurance humor scenes, neither of which elicit laughs-that it doesn’t even properly go through the motions. The wise men set off, Herod freaks out at the prophecy of Jesus’ birth, but there are also references to A Christmas Carol and crappy airlines that are never on time. The strongest jokes are the ones that point out how cruel and unfair the world was toward women, but all of the archaic humor wears thin quickly, turning into something like Year Zero instead of finding more material in the Christmas origin story.

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Watch Family Guy – Friends Without Benefits Online S11E07

Family Guy - Friends Without Benefits
Meg is obsessed this week with Kent ? a very hot guy at school. She’s actually fantasizing at the lunch table about them being the only survivors of some apocalypse and needing to repopulate the earth together. In reality, she’s sucking on her hot dog and learning to breathe through her nose. An important skill. This has apparently been an ongoing obsession, as shown by the contents of her diary that Brian and Stewie are reading.

Oh, and Brian’s pretentiousness is obvious this week, as his supposedly learned and literary self doesn’t know that Virginia Woolf wasn’t a real person ? just a character. But I digress?

Later, after passing the over-zealous Asian kids waiting in line to be the first at school the next day, Meg’s fantasies take a dangerous turn as she causes Mayor West to crash his car while imagining her and Kent riding naked on a white horse. She decides that she has to act on her feelings and ask him out herself. Lois first tells her that no, it’s not wrong in this day and age for a girl to ask a guy out, then turns around and tells her it’s still sad and desperate. I disagree. I was thrilled to see her work up the courage to call him and excited for her that he accepted her invitation to “hang out sometime” so readily.

Ultimately they go to the movies, where everyone is getting cozy and making out, including Quagmire and the four women he’s with, but not Meg and Kent. We find out why when Meg moves in for a kiss turned awkward and Kent informs her that not only is he gay, he’s actually attracted to Chris. Stewie overhears part of this conversation and thinks the “brother” Kent is referring to is him. He would of course. Meg is heartbroken and everyone is trying to avoid comforting her, but Brian doesn’t manage to escape in time and can’t even get away by pleading a cold. He gives her hope though that maybe Kent is just confused and she decides that she can convince him he’s straight. Lois walks in just after, obviously relieved that she escaped talking to her. I feel so sorry for Meg sometimes.

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Watch Family Guy – Lois Comes Out of Her Shell Online S11E06

Family Guy - Lois Comes Out of Her Shell
In sports with scoring judges-mostly Olympic sports like gymnastics, diving, or figure skating-there are times when ambition and risk are more valuable than execution. The athletes who perform flawless dives or routines score less than the eventual winners because they chose elements with a lower starting value. Even with perfect execution, a lesser degree of difficulty prevents a larger potential for success.

Lois Comes Out of Her Shell” is that kind of Family Guy episode, setting the bar very low with two telegraphed plots with very few surprises. It’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but compared to the times when the show is lazy in structure and joke execution, episodes like this one are vastly preferable. It takes a well-worn sitcom theme-desperately trying to appear younger while growing old-and peppers it with crude body humor and late to the game cultural references like Justin Bieber.

The emotional arc is simple and has been used by the show over and over again. Peter is a misogynistic moron to his wife, sending her into a midlife shame spiral. He then realizes the consequences of his ineptitude, only to revert back to his crude tendencies right at the end. That moral structure is Family Guy on autopilot, but again, the low degree of difficulty makes it hard to screw up. Instead of good cutaways saving a bad central plot, the tangential jokes build upon a thoroughly mediocre foundation.

Since Lois’ crisis stems from Peter constructing his entire birthday toast around a grossly insensitive description of Lois’ body changing with age, it’s somewhat nice to see that the show is competent enough to make him suffer a miniscule amount for the emotional pain he inflicts on his wife.

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