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True Blood

The series follows Sookie Stackhouse, a barmaid living in Louisiana who can read people’s minds, and how her life is turned upside down when the Vampire Bill, walks into her place of employment two years after vampires ‘came out of the coffin’ on national television.

Watch True Blood – Save Yourself Online S05E12

Save Yourself

True Blood - Save Yourself Online S05E12

HBO’s hit vampire drama “True Blood” was nothing but crazy if you’ve watched the season five finale of the show, titled “Save Yourself”. Save yourself, indeed! If you have yet to watch Sunday’s episode of the show, turn back now as this post contains nothing but spoilers as we round up the fifth season. If you’ve missed the show, you can read our full and detailed recap here.

Last week’s ‘True Blood’ episode “Sunset” saw Bill dispatching Jessica to turn Jason Stackhouse into a vampire under the new regime, while Sookie rallied the other Faeries into fighting back against Russell Edgington. So, what will the latest episode of ‘True Blood’ bring?

Let’s start with the first death, which coincidentally is also the show’s biggest loss – Russell Edgington has finally been put down. And despite Eric’s episode-wide amazing timing, it seems to have been the Faeries wot done it. Given that the Faeries have done frick-all for the entire season – barring procreating with the nearest drunk – the final score is Russell Nil, Faeries One. Which seems a tad unfair, no? And while it had to happen, and while it was glorious that Eric was present, and possibly partly responsible, it is a massive shame that the batshit ex-King will no longer be gracing Bon Temps with his psychotic presence. RIP Russell, you will be sorely missed.

And when it looked like we would finally get a bit of that old Russell we love so much, he gets staked in the lamest of ways. It’s absolutely fitting that Eric is the one to kill him, but it deserved a moment we would never forget, not a random killing before the opening credits. This also brings up another peccadillo- why are vampires, particularly ancient and powerful ones, so damn easy to kill? After this season they seem more fragile than your average human. What’s the benefit of longevity when you’re able to be dispatched as easy as a baby vamp fresh from the ground?


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Watch True Blood – Sunset Online S05E11


True Blood - Sunset Online S05E11

I’m moderately surprised at what little happened in “Sunset” the penultimate episode. Usually the second-to-last hour of a season is chockfull of high octane twists and turns, leaving the finale to pick up the pieces and set up for the next season. But this hour was actually pretty tame save for some few compelling scenes.

Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) defied her maker by only pretending to sire one of Bon Temps’ Finest, but Jason took a pretty hard hit from the Fairy Elder — before Russell Edgington (Denis O’Hare) did us a solid and ate her. (With just one more episode remaining this season, we don’t have time for such fairy foolishness.) Our fingers are crossed for Jason, but elsewhere, the bodies and vampire goop piled up in Season 5′s penultimate episode, “Sunset”:

Nora remembers what Godric said before Salome joins her and asks if she’s having doubts. Nora says she’s worried about Russell, but Salome calls it all part of Lilith’s plan. Jessica tries to use Bill’s phone to warn Jason about Russell and Steve, but he refuses. She suggests she make Jason a vampire, so they could be together and blessed by Lilith. Bill’s sending two vampires with her to make sure she does.

While Eric runs off with Nora for love and trust of Godric, the Authority continues to crumple at the hands of what Eric calls in the promo for next week, “a mad god of destruction.” Good riddance, truly, to most all of the Authority members and that entire story. But for once the deaths of the season’s villains come with larger consequences.


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Watch True Blood – Gone, Gone, Gone Online S05E10

Gone, Gone, Gone

True Blood - Gone, Gone, Gone Online S05E10 This season of True Blood is almost gone, gone, gone, and at this point I really haven’t figured out where exactly it’s going. ::sound of gong:: Thank you, I’ll be here all week!

Gone, Gone, Gone proves that there is still a lot at stake (pun intended) for all of our favorite characters. The Authority is still prattling on about Lilith and her grace, eventually managing to turn Eric, the staunch nonbeliever of the group. Of course, whether or not he’s actually converted is up in the air, but I’d put my money on this turn being a last ditch effort at faking his way onto the winning team. All of the Tru Blood factories have been destroyed, causing a spike in human deaths at the hands of vampires, which is exactly what the Authority has hoped for.

Bill was on FaceTime, Russell and Steve danced to “Teenage Dream,” and some glyph expert claimed to have an ex-wife who named her toes. Yes, it was a happening. Unfortunately, this episode was also all over the map; as demonstrated by Eric and Nora seeing visions of both Lilith and Godric and Russell maniacally revealing that he doesn’t give a crap about Lilith and the council. Yes, I understand that Lilith killing Godric represented her blood presence overtaking his, but it was still loopy. And while Russell may have seemed completely anti-religion back when he killed Roman, he’d since fallen in with the flock.

Poor Molly. Who knew that when she first introduced us to those deadly vampire training bras that she’d be subjected to the technology herself? Bill puts the order in after the security breach, and she’s nothing but vamp entrails in a matter of seconds. I have to admit, though, it’s kind of a cool scene (maybe I’m just desensitized to True deaths by now).


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Watch True Blood – Everybody Wants To Rule The World Online S05E09

 Everybody Wants To Rule The World

True Blood - Everybody Wants To Rule The World Online S05E09Terry’s crisis of conscience, Bill’s crisis of faith and Andy Bellefleur’s crisis of confidence all came to a head in this week’s minor-plotline-wrapping episode of “True Blood.” Here’s what happened in Bon Temps last night.

The Authority is on the rise after abolishing the law that says vampires can’t feed in public, leading to some chaos in Fangtasia. Sookie is getting closer to finding out who killed her parents but ends up getting held hostage by “Obamas.” We get a flashback at Alcide as a young pup, and it appears he’s had the same haircut for about 20 years.

Last night’s episode of True Blood titled “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” (awesome ‘80s song), felt like the show was finally getting more interesting with just three remaining episodes this season. The writers are building up to what promises to be a bloodbath of a season finale as the vampire revolution is almost to a boiling point. For those who didn’t enjoy the various tertiary plots this season, many of those are neatly wrapping up right about now. Terry’s curse seems to be over, and we finally learned who the Dragon leader was behind the Obama-masked hate group shooting the shifters. But the biggest shocks of the night came from Bill’s betrayal of Eric and Russell taking baby wolf-cub Emma and giving her to his boy-toy Steve Newlin as a pet.

Sookie has Lafayette help her figure out why she’s connected with the spirit of the vampire Warlow. He ends up getting a message from Gran, who tells Sookie she’s “sleeping on top of it.” Under her bed Sookie finds a box full of letters. Jessica assures the police Hoyt is not one of the Obamas. Jason arrives and Jessica says she can no longer feel Hoyt. She’s worried something has happened to him and it will be her fault.


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Watch True Blood – Somebody That I Used to Know Online S05E08

Somebody That I Used to Know

True Blood - Somebody That I Used to Know Online S05E08What makes True Blood one of the best shows on TV is that it features a huge cast of characters all facing vastly unique challenges, but we’ve become so familiar with the ensemble that the jump between stories is never very jarring. Despite this, the beginning of season 5 was marred by having too many characters with uninteresting stories, making each episode feel like more of a chore than an experience. But this is episode eight, and the tables have turned in a huge way by now. Not only are the plots picking up, but everything is rushing towards what is sure to be the most explosive finale the show has ever seen.

Bill was a centerpiece hero character in the first season or two of the show because he was Sookie’s one true love and all of that, and more importantly, got her all involved in the creature world. What we came to find later was that Bill was actually sent as a spy, but then claimed he fell in love with Sookie on the side. He left Lorena’s grasp, took up with Sookie, left Sookie, took up with Eric (not like that), and is now more or less leaving Eric to take up with Salome. He’s a follower without much spine. But the root of it all is, Bill as a character has almost no continuity.

There was a danger of Bill’s character stagnating but the writers are speeding up his so-called “evolution.” The plan to bomb the “True Blood” factories is pretty genius, if decidedly antiquated – there are only five factories in the world that make it? How much supply is there? Come to think of it, what is the actual vampire population figure? Either Bill has turned into an evil mad scientist overnight (or during the day, rather, while he’s asleep) or he’s positioning himself to be the savior of humankind and the ultimate mole.

Over at the wolf pack, Alcide and new hottie Rikki engage in some particularly sexy sex before confronting their V-ed up pack master. There’s a lot of literal growling, and some puffed chest posturing, but nothing particularly jaw dropping happens in the hairy neck of the woods (unless you count Alcide’s chiseled out of marble behind). The Pam/Tara story is definitely more fun to watch, especially with Pam capturing T’s racist high school classmate and glamoring her into becoming an “unpaid food whore.”


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Watch True Blood – In The Beginning Online S05E07

 In The Beginning

True Blood - In The Beginning Online S05E07The wild ride has just begun and the blood is finally starting to flow. And it’s all in the name of Lilith. “In the Beginning” has surely amped up the excitement in this rather interesting, but treading season of True Blood, whilst also taking an important, pivotal look back to multiple beginning stages of the tragic dramas our zany characters have found themselves wrapped within. Not much could have prepared us for the level of insanity that was delivered on tonight’s wild installment, full of blood, action, exciting confrontations, dark and campy humor, & finally some real story progression.

Yes, Russell, who must have been faking his whole “f*** Lilith” spiel, is actually a Lilith convert. Which also means that he’s sadly now “one of the herd.” Lumped in with the surviving Chancellors, turncoats Salome and Nora, the burned face prisoner and Steve Newlin (“I’m like a tree in the wind”). No, it didn’t make much sense that the opening scene showed the Authority troopers capturing Russell again since we were just going to see him free as a bird in the next scene, but everything wound up taking a turn for the pleasantly bats***. And it was cool to see Godric pop up right at the end and essentially un-brainwash Eric; showing him that Lilith wasn’t even a real, corporeal figure.

Our favorite occasional tavern wench got some interesting news: her magical abilities are finite and will diminish if she doesn’t control them soon. So naturally she stands outside her house and tries to use it all up. Were the fairies telling the truth or is there some way to mystically charge Sookie like an iPhone? Most superheroes seem to go through this choice and as a mere mortal, I have to wonder for a minute if they’re freaking nuts. Who doesn’t want superpowers? Sure, the downsides are being a pawn in dangerous supernatural wars and your love life basically sucks. But it’s not monotonous. Being normal is overrated. But it’s the one thing Sookie thinks she wants. I hope she comes to accept who she really is on her own, not with the help of some insanely hot man.


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Watch True Blood – Let’s Boot & Rally Online S05E05

Let’s Boot & Rally

True Blood - Let's Boot & Rally Online S05E05Whoever gave the True Blood writers some V or whatever it was to suddenly make this season pretty darn brilliant, praise your light. There was surely no title more apt for an episode than this week, where in all of the story lines (though still fractured) some serious shit went down. Few dramas hit their stride as late as a fifth season, but True Blood has come into its own – finally – this year. Yes there have been missteps along the way, but for the most part this mere 50 minutes of television (followed by a “let’s discuss what the heck is going on in Bon Temps right now” video) felt longer and denser than seemed possible. Hit the jump for details on the latest weirdness, and why Hoyt needs to go back home to his mama.

The episode opens with Sookie and Alcide getting their hump on. That is, until Sookie takes a good long look at his pecs and then pukes on his shoes. I also wanted to puke on his shoes. Is anyone else overwhelmed with the sheer number of well-muscled male chests on this show? So that’s of course when Bill and Eric show up to lurk around in black leather jackets and tell Sookie about the Russell situation, and also ask/force her to help them find him. They have until dawn, otherwise their chest harnesses will activate and turn them into tomato sauce, so it’s pretty urgent.

“If I wanted to look like a drag queen, I would’ve raided Lafayette’s closet.” Yeah, she looks good in that corset, but it’s so no Tara. Then again, Tara did the big hair and blue eyeshadow to match it, so she’s gotta be having a little dress-up fun. Trying on her new life. Does Tara really have to stick with Pam? Maybe for the time being as she adjusts, but would Pam make their relationship one of permanent indentured servitude?

Meet your new True Blood villain: Irfit. It turns out that Patrick’s and Terry’s old war buddy, Eller, isn’t a psycho — he’s just running from a fire monster. Eller says they’ve been cursed by an innocent woman they killed as soldiers, who sent “a fertile being of smoke and fire” after them. Terry’s a believer, but Patrick’s not, and they leave Eller tied up in his supposedly fire retardant basement to get attacked by the Irfit, which looks and sounds way too much like the Lost smoke monster for my comfort.


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Watch True Blood – We’ll Meet Again Online S05E04

We’ll Meet Again

True Blood - We'll Meet Again Online S05E04As we promised, True Blood’s “We’ll Meet Again” was full of shockers for Bon Temps’ supernatural residents — and even its few remaining mortals too. I haven’t really been loving True Blood that much this season, but I was happier with this episode because of the final moments . . . and that long-awaited kiss. Let’s get to the best and worst parts of the episode after the jump.

If you hadn’t already guessed, Tara isn’t vampire goo. For making such a drastic leap with her, the show’s writers have yet to do anything truly interesting with the character. Tara finally changes her clothes, and like many of the others, voices her disdain for Sookie’s knack for survival. “She’s always safe,” says Tara. “There’s always some fool that will take a bullet for her.” And though Tara is unknowingly leading the hate-train, it’s not a totally unforeseen remark by Sookie’s former best friend. After all, angry Tara is angry.

But after being treated to two flashbacks’ worth of Pam crying bloody tears over her remembered origins, we know she’s got a heart hidden somewhere under her pink velour sweatsuit, and lo and behold, it makes an appearance again in this episode; after sobbing her way through a confrontation with Eric over the whereabouts of one Russell Edgington, she calls his bluff. If he doesn’t trust her, she says, “then release me and get it over with.”

Even if we do get tired of her, drunk Sookie, newly dubbed “the Angel of Death,” was a refreshing part of this episode. In true “Gossip Girl” fashion, Sookie gets to link up with yet another unattached gentleman on this show now that she’s done with Bill and Eric, but this particular match felt overdue so we were OK with it. And look, Bill’s taking a page out of Edward Cullen’s book and watching creepily outside the window.


Watch True Blood – Whatever I Am, You Made Me Online S05E03

Whatever I Am, You Made Me

True Blood - Whatever I Am, You Made Me S05E03 OnlineWhile I’m happy that we’re still hanging with the cool new characters that populate the underground lair of the Vampire Authority, “Whatever I Am, You Made Me” dragged a bit simply because Bill and Eric were, you know, also still hanging around the underground lair of the Vampire Authority. No, I didn’t mind seeing Tina Majorino (Napoleon Dynamite, Veronica Mars) as a quirky vampire techie who fits them with their kill vests (“You guys are too cute to be goo”), but then, afterward, it really felt like the two of them should have been released to go hunt down Russell. But no, they had one more night to spend in the keep, sexing it up with the mysterious contemporary-of-Jesus, Salome, who is somehow able to determine whether or not the two of them are die-hard Sanguinistas via copulation.

Consider me turned – I am truly enjoying this season of True Blood. There was a meme I saw this week that said “if you take away the love triangle, The Hunger Games is essentially a televised fight to the death … and Twilight is about a girl who moves somewhere it rains a lot.” In True Blood, take away the Bill-Sookie-Eric love triangle and you get … a much better show. So far. Keeping the supernatural action to a minimum (and refocusing on vampires rather than every possible creature imaginable) has been a welcomed change in tone from the chaos of last season. Additionally, keeping Bill and Eric’s Excellent Adventures separate from Sookie has been to the benefit of all involved. Even though tonight’s episode was quieter than most, it set up some interesting things to come. Hit the jump to find out why you should never negotiate with apostates!

Meanwhile, after turning into a vampire (but unfortunately not a better character), Tara heads to Sam for help. She’s still a tad miffed at Sookie and Lafayette and continues to do what Tara does best: be angry and annoying. But Sookie and Lafayette are better off without dealing with their grumpy friend. Sookie’s Debbie-deed is finally catching up to her as Alcide learns the truth, and Debbie’s parents continue to search for their missing daughter. Lafayatte, on the other hand, is still at the mercy of last season’s juju magic. And if the brief appearance of the scary troll-face Jesus used to wear so proudly tells us anything, it’s that our fabulous cook has a few issues to work through.


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Watch True Blood – Authority Always Wins Online S05E02

Authority Always Wins

True Blood - Authority Always WinsWatch out Sookeh and Beel — Stabler is in the house. Christopher Meloni made his first “True Blood” appearance as Roman, a member of the vampire Authority, in the second episode “Authority Always Wins” of Season 5 this week.

Picking up directly where the last left off, the episode opens with Tara’s violent revival. Now a vampire, she launches into berserker mode, chewing on Lafayette and Sookie at will and ripping Sookie’s house to shreds. Lafayette reconsiders their decision to turn her into a creature she hates more than anything else, while Sookie has faith that the old Tara will make a reappearance—and hopefully stop throwing her breakables into walls.

The one story that mostly escaped the filler tag tonight was Bill and Eric’s incarceration at the Vampire Authority. Unfortunately, even though this obviously wasn’t filler, that still didn’t make it very exciting. Most of the time was spent with Bill and Eric in separate interrogation rooms, but the information their interrogators were attempting to extract from them wasn’t really the point. The point was what the subject of the interrogations told us about the Vampire Authority and their enemies, the Sanguinistas.


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