Phil is cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year with Luke as his sous chef, and Claire has no confidence in them and prepares a secret turkey of her own as backup. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria had plans to spend the holiday away but when the trip gets canceled last minute, they decide not to tell anyone which quickly becomes the worst idea ever since the family dinner gets suddenly moved to their house and it turns into a mad scramble to cover their tracks. And, Mitch is tired of always being the bad cop so when Lily refuses to wear a nice dress to dinner, he forces Cameron to deal with it who then comes up with a very unconventional approach.
Haley and Andy begin to spend a lot of time together, but Phil and Claire can not make up their minds what to think about their relationship. Gloria’s determination for Manny to study Spanish instead of French causes her to employ a handsome Spanish tutor.
Even though Halloween is Claire’s holiday, she allows Phil to take over this year so instead of her usual fright-fest theme, he decides to turn the house into AwesomeLand! Gloria picks out Princess Fiona and Shrek costumes for her and Jay but Jay decides he wants to be Prince Charming complete with a full head of gorgeous hair, and with the hair comes a new sense of confidence. Elsewhere, Cameron gets overwhelmed by the day’s activities and Mitchell has closing arguments for a huge case, and it doesn’t help that the stenographer is dressed like a spider.
Phil is selling the house next door and he and Claire are excited by the prospect of having wonderful new neighbors, but that quickly turns into panic when a loud and obnoxious couple come to look at the house. Jay forbids Manny to see his new girlfriend when he realizes she’s the granddaughter of his biggest business rival, leading to a clash of the closet titans. Elsewhere, Mitch and Cam are determined to switch Lily out of Mrs. Plank’s class since she is known to rule with an iron fist – not to mention she scares them too.
The Dunphys move into a cramped hotel room while their house is getting treated for mold and Phil sees this as an opportunity to spend some quality time together but Claire and the kids are less than enthused. Gloria becomes over protective when Manny starts dating an older, popular girl, and Cameron is under a lot of pressure to maintain his team’s winning streak but when he realizes Mitchell may be a jinx.
Phil is putting together Mitch and Cam’s wedding video for a special family screening, but when the footage reveals that he is responsible for a horrible cold that has plagued the family, he must do some creative editing. Jay and Gloria have different ways of helping Manny cope with the stresses of high school football, while coach Cam struggles between whether or not to bench him. And, Mitchell gets strangely competitive with Lily’s new friend, Sydney, who is clearly a genius.
It’s Jay and Gloria’s anniversary and they can’t seem to get on the same page on what kind of gift to give – sentimental or expensive? And, the Dunphys head to Caltech for Alex’s college tour and while Claire is busy convincing her to choose this school and stay close to home, Phil, Luke and Haley branch off to participate in a psyche experiment. Mitch and Cam are taking a new family portrait with Lily to replace the old one above their mantel, but Lily gives some serious face.
In “Australia”, the entire family tags along as Phil (Ty Burrell) fulfills his mom’s wish for him to return to his roots and visit the country where he was conceived, Australia.
Phil wants to reconnect with his family’s early heritage, in the wake of his mother’s death (at the end of season four). However, since this is a television sitcom and the cast could use a much needed break from the hectic world of show business, Burrell’s co-stars ? sorry, Phil’s close family ? tag along for some stiff cultural stereotyping and weak character-driven moments this week.
Cam and Mitch break off from the rest of the family to go visit their old friend Ferguson. However, they’re not too thrilled about it, as they reveal he’s actually kind of annoying. At lunch they find that he’s just as annoying but happens to be famous in Australia as a talk show host.
They take advantage of Ferguson’s celebrity status to see the best of the city, including behind the scenes at a zoo, VIP status at a club, and limo rides.
At the Dunphy household, Haley wants to quit her job because it’s boring (welcome to life, child), Alex is continuing her nerd-dom and Luke is continuing his mad scientist lifestyle. Claire doesn’t agree with her children’s choices while Phil finds nothing is wrong. All will have to wait because Claire has to go in for an angiogram ? a precautionary test.
At the hospital, Claire and Phil meet The Future Dunphys ? three adults whose personalities mirror the little Dunphys. We find out BizarroHaley has been married four times and is unhappy in another marriage, BizarroAlex is a cat lady, and BizarroLuke is a man-child that’s probably on a first name basis with the police.
Phil knows the error of his ways while Claire sees the BizarroDunphys hate their mother and knows the error of her ways. Both, separately, call their children who interpret the schizo behavior as Claire being really sick. They arrive at the hospital to see their parents okay and realize it’s just another overreaction ? the children freak out, leading to BizarroBizarroDunphys (younger version of the Dunphys) to have judgy-face.
Jay takes Manny to interview at a private school. Unresolved issues surface as Jay relives his history with snotty private school boys with small noses ? he worked for the privileged and wasn’t treated well. Jay realize, as the tour of the school continues, he wanted to BE the snotty boys with the small noses. His enthusiasm leads Manny to bomb his interview (doing the moonwalk at any interview is frowned upon). Manny apologizes to Jay since he knows it was important to the old man. Jay reciprocates ? if Manny feels this was the first time Jay was proud of him, then the old man is the one to say sorry?ahhhh?.