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Watch American Dad – She Swill Survive Online S09E16

American Dad - She Swill Survive
Last night’s episode was titled “She Swill Survive”. It is the sixteenth episode in this tenth season and it almost put me to sleep, guys. American Dad has been on a bit of a viewership decline this season, and it’s episodes like this that may explain it.

In this episode we see Stan return from a long day at work, only to find Hayley awaking at four in the afternoon. Concerned that she lacks the skills to take care of herself in life, Stan forces her to take a job and at Roger’s bar and start paying rent. Stan is also having a rough time at work because he wants to be part of Mr. Bullock’s “Inner Circle”, an exclusive club where plenty of fun times are had. When Stan learns that Mr. Bullock has been making drunken confessions to Hayley at the bar, he plants a microphone and uses it as a way to get himself into the Inner Circle.

Meanwhile, Steve and his pals settle in to watch Wolfgang Petersen’s classic “Das Boot” with Klaus. Just before they start the film, a minor slip of the tongue sets off a chain reaction of Germanic folk tales that prevent the boys from actually watching the movie at all.

I feel like I’ve been hard on American Dad these past few weeks. We’re winding down on this season, and it doesn’t appear to me that it will end well. I haven’t really enjoyed this season as a whole, to be honest. Admittedly there are a few great ones, but they seem few and far between.

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Watch Nurse Jackie – Sink or Swim Online S06E01

Nurse Jackie - Sink or Swim
Jackie is swimming laps. She comes up for air and then goes for another lap. In the locker room, she grabs a towel and heads to her locker. She opens it and sees the pills she got with her towels. She walks back to the attendant and tells her it was a little light and gives her some money. Grace snorts a line of something and then wipes the residue away. She puts on her eyeliner. There’s a knock at the door ? it’s her Dad ready to get her off to school. She kisses him. Jackie pops a couple of pills by her locker then dresses and heads out to the workout area.

Frank is there working out and they discuss plans but he has to work and she has the girls. She says she’ll call him, they smooch, hug, swap I love you’s and she leaves. She arrives at the hospital and heads in. Thor asks if she’s been at the gym and he tells her she makes him feel like a slob. Gloria and Ike greet her and Zoe tells her about a kid she’s having problem doing a blood draw on. Zoe tells her she’s like a different person when she goes to the gym and she says that’s why she goes.

Jackie comes to take the blood and the mom is annoyed and doesn’t want his blood drawn. She demands to talk to a doctor and Ike is there and tells her they do need the blood sample. Jackie tells the mom to rub the boy’s neck and she does and it’s over quickly. Someone comes in moaning and call for a doctor. Carrie stands to help but Ike glares her back to her seat.

Fitch asks if she’s off probation soon and she says they are going to let her know. She says it’s been months and she feels tied down. Fitch has a plaque and he says he gave a scholarship to his alma mater and she asks why and he says it makes him happy. She tells him America isn’t happy and that Mexico is happier then scoffs. She asks Fitch to help her and he reminds her she tried to sue him.

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Watch Simpsons – Days Of Future Future Online S25E18

Simpsons - Days Of Future Future
The Simpsons “Days of Future Future” is yet another future episode and the future ain’t what it used to be. It can mess with Simpsons canon. I’ve always assumed there would be a future with a President Lisa Simpson. I assume it will happen before Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle will be president. It’s a future I look forward to. Not only will she legalize “it” for Bart, both Lisa and Malcolm are both really intelligent people from families who know what’s what in the world. Not that I want a President Frankie Muniz or President Yeardley Smith, well maybe Yeardley, President Yeardley sounds like it will be comic gold. But I digress.

I’m going to miss Homer #1, his irrepressible humor, his insatiable hunger and unquenchable thirst. We’ve gone through so much. And come back for seconds. Free refills and all the shrimp we could eat. Thank science for Professor Frink, until Bart recorded over Homer, he begloibened the day. Homer has had a storied story. He came into this world a kind of magical gorilla, lived as a fat, fat, fat, reckless fat pig, died his way into the future future through a series of surplus wholesale clones, will be downloaded onto a zip drive, turned into a screensaver (bonk, bonk, ooh corner, badonk) and finally transported into a robot who sounds like Kazoo, the alien on The Flintstones. Very fitting. Except Homer’s junk, which comes separately and has to be assembled by hand.

The future in Springfield is a conglomeration of the myths of TV and movies made fleshy yellow. Bart feeds the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park , I mean Cretaceous Park, like he was working at Seaworld, only without the dolphin abuse. Lisa does charity work for the undead, her future being written by The Walking Dead. Her future marriage to Millhouse is in a rut until Millhouse gets bitten by a zombie and Lisa by the love bug. Once you go zombie you never go back. Just like bubble wrap is the great equalizer.

The Simpsons is playing it fast and loose with death this season, what with the death of the most beloved person in Springfield, the real-life death of Marcia Wallace, whatever happened to Nelson a few weeks ago and, I swear, Hans Moleman has died at least four times this year. The Simpsons play with the idea of Homer dying a lot. Probably more so after Matt Groening’s father, who Homer is based on, died. It’s a scab he just has to pick. In a past future episode (if this is beginning to sound like the Mad magazine version of the Poseidon Adventure, go down to go up, good), when Lisa tells her mom she’s marrying a Hugh Grant kinda guy, Marge says “I wish your father were here” no Homer will not have had died in that future, he was out. The Simpsons has prepared us for Homer’s death. But not Abe’s, he’s at Homer’s funerals. Cremo, the crematorium-bot is ever-ready, though.

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Watch Continuum – 30 Minutes To Air Online S03E05

Continuum - 30 Minutes To Air
Tonight’s episode of Continuum, we learn a bit more of Travis’ and Dillon’s personal lives.

Let’s start with Travis. It is 2077 and a mother-daughter return home when we see Travis cover the mouth of the mother. We are lead to believe something bad is going to happen to them but it is only Travis secretly wanting to see his daughter and the mother of his child. Travis’ wife/partner/mother of his child is worried about the danger he is putting them in considering that he is a terrorist. This fear is realized when CPS men break in and demand to know where Travis is. Travis’ wife doesn’t give him up but states they are loyal to the Corporate Congress. The head officer speaks to Travis’ daughter and asks about her loyalty. This pretty much leads to her giving up her father’s hiding spot. At episode’s end, we are back to this scene where we see moments before Travis’ arrest, he tells his daughter about sacrifice. After Travis is taken away, the lead officer thanks them for their loyalty and gives Travis’ daughter a CPS pin as thanks. When the officers leaves, Travis’ daughter cries in her mother’s over betraying her father.

Back to the present a young man and woman are scaling the Fermitas building as a sign of protest and are arrested for their troubles. Carlos tells Kiera that Fermitas is a big weapons manufacturer and one of Liber8′s safety deposit box theft victim. When Carlos abruptly ends their call, Kiera is paid a visit from Curtis. Curtis wants to form a partnership with Kiera but she is weary and wonders if Catherine knows.

And apparently Catherine doesn’t when Kiera goes to visit her and ask. The big thing about this scene is that Kiera wonders what is behind a mystery door that Catherine goes into. Instead of answering, Catherine just tells Kiera that she is glad they are on the same team.

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Watch NCIS – Alleged Online S11E20

NCIS - Alleged
Due to the murder of former NIS agent Daniel McLane, who worked together with Mike Franks, we meet agent Dwayne Pride (called King by most), agent Chis Lasalle, and agent Merri Brody. (I will be honest and say I had trouble understanding what Lasalle was saying at times.)

McLane was Pride’s mentor like Franks was Gibbs’. Gibbs and Pride know each other from back when they were probies. From what I understand, Gary Glasberg might create a spin-off (“NCIS: New Orleans”) with this team. In principle, I am never a big fan of spin-offs, but it might work.

Pride comes to D.C. and to Gibbs because he thinks there might be a political motivation for the murder. McLane, after he retired from NIS, became a congressman. When Pride is in D.C., Lasalle calls in MTAC. He is there with the New Orleans medical examiner, Dr. Loretta Wade. They say the FBI came and took the body away. Dr. Wade had not been able to finish her autopsy. Tony “smells a conspiracy.”

“NCIS” and the FBI have to work together on this case, causing Fornell to join in. (Yay!)

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Watch Supernatural – Goodbye Stranger Online S08E17

Supernatural - Goodbye Stranger
Well, it wouldn’t be the second half of a Supernatural season if the entire story hadn’t devolved into a big giant angst-fest. You know, more so than the show’s usual angst-fest. Sam is probably dying. Again. Castiel is being weird and evasive. Again. And once again, Dean is stuck in the middle, wondering why he doesn’t get nice things. Welcome to the homestretch, ya’ll!

More on my bitter tears later. Fresh off of a trippy adventure in his own personal “Mystery Spot” Castiel caught up with the Brothers Winchester when they invaded his turf in search of whatever was randomly killing demons in a small town. That “something” turned out to be Castiel himself, so I guess in actuality they all caught up to each other. How quaint!

From the jump, Dean and Sam suspected that there was something off with Castiel, which leaves Dean 2 for 2 with the knowing-his-family-members-are-lying-about-stuff record. Earlier, he spotted Sam’s bloody tissues in the trash bin back at the Batcave and between Sam’s supernatural black lung and the really great job the makeup people are doing making Jared Padalecki look like he’s perpetually fighting off the flu, it wasn’t hard to figure out that Sam isn’t as fine as he claims– but really, is he ever? Cas further elaborated on Moose’s condition by claiming that Sam was “damaged in ways he can’t heal” and implying that it was electromagnetic (!?) in nature.

Thanks for your insight, Cas. I guess. But brownie points to the Supernatural crew for making an effort to at least show a gradual progression toward…whatever we’re working toward. I’d rather have details dangled in the dialogue and Sam discretely hacking up a lung than the usual modus operandi of ignoring everything until it suddenly becomes relevant again. It makes me think that this story is being thought out and planned, as opposed to slapped together over hellatus. I like it. It makes up for the blah cases of the week that preceded this wangsty adventure and the general clusterfuck of the first half of the season. Amelia even kind of sort of made sense once Meg compared her to a unicorn during her and Sammich’s little heart-to-heart.

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Watch Grey Anatomy – Sleeping Monster Online S09E21

Grey Anatomy - Sleeping Monster
There was good news and bad news during Thursday’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Let’s start with the good news: Bailey gets to keep her job!

After three of her patients showed up with mysterious post-operation infections, the Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital board members decided to call the CDC to investigate the source. After two of the patients died, Bailey was sidelined as the CDC attempted to figure out how this all happened. Unfortunately, during this time, the rest of the hospital could not outwardly show their support for the stalwart doc, with her longtime mentor Richard even blaming her to the third patient’s parents in order to get him into surgery – something Bailey inadvertently heard.

The CDC was able to determine that the infection did start with Bailey, but it was only spread due to the gloves that were being used during the Pegasus era. In other words, if it weren’t for the inept Pegasus, everything would’ve been OK. It’s never quite explained how Bailey contracted the infection, but she’ll be treated and sent back to work in no time.

Now the bad news: Bailey knows exactly who supported her, or rather, who didn’t during this stressful time, in which she truly thought she could lose her job. In particular, it was most hurtful that Richard was not there for her considering she spent years making excuses for him when he was doing surgeries while drunk or blowing off his wife Adele.

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Watch The Big Bang Theory – The Closure Alternative Online S06E21

The Big Bang Theory - The Closure Alternative
In this week’s episode of The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon and Amy deal with his need for closure, Penny tries to get excited about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Raj tries to butch it up. In other words, this is an episode about people trying to change something deeply ingrained into who they are and failing absolutely spectacularly.

First we have Sheldon, who finds out that Alphas has been canceled, and what’s more, it ended on a cliffhanger. We’ve all been there, I’m sure, but the problem is worse for Sheldon who can’t even stand to not complete his door-knocking, much less not know what happens after the disastrous scenario in which Alphas ended. (And can I just say… obscure!)

Amy decides to try to help him out by conditioning him to accept life without resolution and hands up, who here over-related to him just not being able to handle it? Particularly at the end, when he gets his closure and all but passes out with relief. My hand is in the air and I’m guessing a few of yours are as well.

Meanwhile, Raj decides to butch it up after stalking his girlfriend online and finding that she had referred to him as feminine. His solution to this seems to involve wearing a hockey jersey and serving frozen burritos for dinner, and I laughed a truly ridiculous amount because I completely believe that that is what Raj thinks masculinity comprises. Naturally, it also fails, but luckily she doesn’t mind his lack of traditional masculinity, and in fact it’s one of the things she really likes about him. I think I’m slowly coming around to liking her.

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Watch The Vampire Diaries – The Originals Online S04E20

The Vampire Diaries - The Originals
Would you book another trip to New Orleans?

That is the question for fans of The Vampire Diaries after tonight’s shocking episode, which served as a backdoor pilot for The Originals spinoff, which centers on fan favorite Original siblings Klaus (Joseph Morgan), Elijah (Daniel Gillies) and Rebekah (Claire Holt) stirring up trouble in The Big Easy, a supernatural empire that Klaus helped create back in the day.

And though Klaus heading back to New Orleans intent on destroying a coven of witches looking to destroy him, he got more than he bargained for when he ran into werewolf Hayley (Phoebe Tonkin)! Plus, we met (and swooned over) new characters that we’ll be spending a lot of time with should the CW pick up The Originals to series…

We better start with the hybrid baby because, WHAT? There’s been some discussion about why Hayley would play a role in the spin-off (well, other than The CW isn’t going to let Phoebe Tonkin slink away so easily), but now we know: She’s miraculously carrying Klaus’s child after their almost-forgotten one-night stand some episodes ago. The episode chalked up the pregnancy to a loophole in the system, which is clearly the quickest and pilot-iest way to answer “how?” without actually answering it. The mystery behind the pregnancy will likely drive The Originals, as will Klaus’s surely slow-moving journey of coming to terms with the baby’s existence.

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Watch The Big Bang Theory – The Tenure Turbulence Online S06E20

The Big Bang Theory - The Tenure Turbulence
Tenure is the bane of any college professor’s existence. It’s great if you can get it, but the road to a tenured position is paved with years of uncertainty and endless amounts of inter-departmental politics. Tenure was the dragon our heroes wrestled with in this week’s episode. And as expected, they were each forced to make a choice between their years of friendship and the prospect of lifelong financial and professional security.

This could have been the basis for a really dramatic episode, but with the season finale still a few episodes off, perhaps now wasn’t the time. Unfortunately, the humor wasn’t as strong as it could have been, resulting in an episode that was neither that funny nor very dramatic.

The Tenure Turbulence” brought back two supporting players on the Caltech scene that have crossed paths with Sheldon and the gang previously in the season – rival professor Barry Kripke (John Ross Bowie) and HR director Janine Davis (Regina King). Right away that started the episode out on muddy ground. Mrs. Davis is an enjoyable enough character, mainly because of the way she brings out Sheldon’s unintentionally racist side.

That element certainly came back into play as Sheldon did his best to woo her with inappropriate gifts and other misguided gestures. Watching Sheldon’s hip little handshake maneuver at the very end was probably the highlight of the week.

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