Watch Criminal Minds – The Fallen Online S08E07

Criminal Minds - The Fallen Criminal Minds season 8 continues with episode 7, “The Fallen.” It begins with a woman playing guitar on a bench and getting in the car of a man who tipped her decently. That is, of course, a mistake, and he stabs her. Rossi has turned in a new manuscript, but he still needs to write the dedication.

Three charred bodies have shown up on the Santa Monica Pier. Is the unsub burning the bodies to mask their identities or to eliminate evidence? That takes time, so they’re looking for a patient, organized unsub.

“You never find yourself until you face the truth.”

The unsub isn’t showing signs of remorse and wants to be noticed. Garcia does identify the woman as Lindsay, who had no job, was receiving little money from her mother, and had no local contacts. Her address turns out to be a mail center, news to her parents. Her mother tells Hotch she was performing on the pier, chasing her dream. She wants to know where she was living. The ME reports the victims were dead before being burned, and all died of exsanguination from stab wounds. It turns out Lindsay did spend some time at the local outreach center, where Rossi recognizes his former Marine Sergeant, Scott. Flashbacks show the two serving together in Vietnam, 1969, and after a brief conversation in the present, when Rossi goes to get his card, Scott’s gone when he turns back around.

A guy stops a man on the beach and asks if he wants his portrait done. That’s a big mistake, because he ends up with his head shaved and drowned in bleach. He’s found outside a shelter, and there are chemical burns. Scott yells out his name, and Rossi brings him over. Scott points out the last time he saw him, he was unconscious and on his way home. He brings up a PFC who was captured and held for three nights, left with no eyes, ears, or arms, but still alive. They were trying to scare him. That’s what’s going on here.

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Watch How I Met Your Mother – Splitsville Online S08E06

How I Met Your Mother - Splitsville All season long, the tease has been that this was the “Autumn of Breakups”. Barney and Quinn: done. Ted and Victoria: done. That just left Robin and Nick, and that relationship ended tonight. The episode revolved around these two, with the other characters providing tid bit side notes. Robin realizes that Nick is not very smart, and is only with him because he is great in bed. But before we dive into that, let’s cover the other cast members.

For Marshall and Lily, their lack of sex since baby Marvin was born is taking a toll on their relationship. The two of them deal with it in their own various ways. For Lily, she goes about it like she usually does: lusting at the mention of anything sexual, while Marshall is coping with it by working out like a fiend. When Ted realizes that it is the baby that is causing this, he takes the baby for a walk, and the two….reconcile their relationship.

Ted and Marshall are also very invested in their after work basketball league, with Ted leading the T Squares to horrible loss after horrible loss. Meanwhile, Marshall is begging Robin to avoid breaking up with Nick because he has become the star of his team. Unfortunately for Marshall, Nick has to nurse a pull groin for the entirety of the episode, which leads to Robin putting off the breakup,.

Ultimately, Robin and Nick go out to dinner, where Robin plans to break the news to Nick. However, after receiving a “sad phone call”, Robin decides to put the breakup off again, prompting Barney to spring into action. Earlier in the episode, Barney threatened to launch a “Robin and Patrice Fun Day” event, where Robin would spend the day with her annoying coworker Patrice. When this isn’t enough, Barney takes matters into his own hands.

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Watch Boardwalk Empire – The Milkmaid’s Lot Online S03E09

Boardwalk Empire - The Milkmaid's Lot The rubble of Babette’s Supper Club is still smoking and the echoes of last week’s blast are still ringing in Nucky Thompson’s ears.

An episode like “The Milkmaid’s Lot” could have gone down a very reflexive road. This might have been Nucky’s episode to dream he’s a different person while he recovers from his wounds (looking at you, Tony Soprano).

Instead, Steve Buscemi turns in a stellar performance as a shell-shocked Nucky who just wants all his rivals dead and a pony for his stepdaughter.

Buscemi plays Nucky confused, irritated, disoriented, manic and vulnerable. It’s a kaleidoscope of a character we so often see wrapped in singular purpose and calm control. He forgets his friends’ faces, along with most of the details of recent events. The one thing he can focus on is Gyp Rosetti.

Yes, like MacArthur returning to the Philippines, Rosetti has returned toTabor Heights. His first act of business is to reaffirm the universal law that being the sheriff of Tabor Heights is the equivalent to being the drummer in Spinal Tap.

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Watch Walking Dead – Say the Word Online S03E05

Walking Dead - Say the Word “Say the Word” is the first season-three episode of The Walking Dead that I outright dislike, and a lot of it has to do with the weird situation we find ourselves in with Michonne. It’s weird because we, the viewer, know that she’s right to suspect The Governor of being up to no good. We know this because we’ve witnessed him murder, seen his fish tanks filled with zombie heads and understand that the story dictates that this guy be a human villain to eventually challenge Rick and the group. And yet, despite the fact that we know she will ultimately be proven correct, the way she’s constantly Scooby-Doo-ing around Woodbury still seems fueled by needless paranoia and irrationally dangerous. The Governor hasn’t given her a single reason to distrust him so much, and yet there she is at the beginning of this episode, staring at him menacingly from outside his window. What does she hope to gain by being so obvious about it? If she’s wrong not to trust him, she’s ostracizing herself from the town and making things difficult for Andrea. If she’s right, she’s just going to get herself killed by being such a blatant and annoying snoop. I find the whole thing distracting, and it’s not helped by Danai Gurira’s barely-even-one-note performance as Michonne.

This week’s episode opens with the mini-bomb that the Governor is still caring for his zombiefied daughter, who he keeps hidden away at home. I thought for sure that bit of info, taken from the comics, would be saved for an end-of-episode reveal, so it was surprising to see it presented right up front. Meanwhile, Woodbury is busy preparing for some kind of semi-regular party that culminates in a mysterious main event. Andrea is intrigued and remains stuck in a push-and-pull with Michonne over whether they should leave or not. (An emotional tug-of-war that still doesn’t work for me because, thanks to the time jump between seasons two and three, we never got to see these two becomes friends.) Ultimately, Michonne ends up going, convinced it’s time thanks to a creepy though vague journal she finds in the Governor’s home. Andrea decides to stay, although she may want to change her mind when she discovers that the town’s main event is a gladiator-style fist fight where the contestants are surrounded by a ring of chained-up zombies. The Governor assures her that the fight is fixed and not really dangerous as the zombies’ teeth are removed. This does not look to ease Andrea’s mind.

As a reveal hinting that maybe Andrea really shouldn’t trust the Governor, the fight doesn’t work all that well, mostly because the people of Woodbury appear to be having a blast. It also seems a little odd that nobody cared to mention the town’s one big entertainment option clear up until Andrea was sitting on a bleacher watching it go down. As normal as everyone treats it, you’d think “Night at the Fights … With Zombies!” would be on the town brochure.

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Watch Fringe – Through the Looking Glass and What Walter Found There Online S05E06

Fringe - Through the Looking Glass and What Walter Found There Of all the people best-equipped to deal with altered realities and venturing into them, you’d think that Walter Bishop would be at the top of most lists. But, as Friday’s Fringe demonstrated, things aren’t always as they seem… Here’re five questions about the wonderfully-titled “Through the Looking Glass and What Walter Found There”.

Who is Donald?
For the second time this season, we find out that someone called Donald – who Walter doesn’t remember, and the show seems suspiciously determined to hide from our view – helped Walter organize the plan against the Observers before the Fringe team was ambered. It’s clear that Walter’s identity is going to end up being something that’s important to the overall arc this season, which makes me wonder if we’ve already met Donald, in some other guise. My guess, based on little other than a suspicion that I’ll partially explain in a second? Donald is Captain Windmark. That’s why Windmark is so obsessed with capturing Walter, and yet can’t quite manage to do it…

Who is the “we” that helped Walter design the Pocket Universe? (And how did they do it?)
“We designed this for you,” VideoWalter said. But since when did Walter have the knowledge to construct alternate universes, never mind designing them so that they resembled Escher paintings? Was Donald part of the team…? Or was September, the Observer that crossed sides and teamed with the Fringe team at the end of last season, responsible? If that last option is the case – and it seems to be the most likely option at this point – then what else did he help Walter do before his disappearance?

Who is the child?
The questions of who the child Walter abandoned in the Pocket Universe was and why he needed to be hidden there were central to the episode, and left entirely unanswered purposefully. He was an apparently integral part of the plan to defeat the Observers, but why…? (Weirdly enough, the fact that he came from some Fringe case that Walter doesn’t remember struck me as odd, as well. Did the Fringe team have cases after the Observers invaded? Doesn’t that strike anyone else as weird?) Is he an empath, as Olivia assumed? Is he an Observer? Some kind of human/Observer hybrid? Either way, expect to see him again before too long, I suspect.

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Watch Greys Anatomy – Beautiful Doom Online S09E05

Greys Anatomy - Beautiful Doom At last! Christina and Meredith are reunited. Before breaking for the 30-second dance party, let’s revisit the events that led Christina to get past her fear of flying (for now) and head back to Seattle.

While Christina found her car buried under several feet of Minnesota snow, Meredith found a woman who was literally buried under a car. As Meredith rallied others to save the injured woman, Feeny showed up and saved Christina with a warm, snow-free car and a delicious pastry. Seriously, is there anything that George Feeny can’t make better? Considering this is the last time we’ll see Feeny on Grey’s Anatomy, it might be nice if I referred to him by the proper character name – Thomas.

The episode’s opening moments led to a memorable day for the two best friends. Like Dr. Webber and other staffers, I too was worried that Meredith was too emotionally invested in saving Melissa. The image of her trapped beneath the car immediately led me to thoughts of Lexie.

Meanwhile, Thomas continued to surprise Christina by my managing to actually teach the woman who thinks she knows it all. Thomas was clearly invigorated by Christina’s presence, taking on riskier surgeries and finding joy in his work despite Parker’s crass efforts to force the elder statesman into retirement.

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Watch Suburgatory – Foam Finger Online S02E04

Suburgatory - Foam Finger I find it more than a little creepy that George (Jeremy Sisto) and Dallas (Cheryl Hines) are getting it on this season of Suburgatory, even though, as Tessa noted in this episode, you could see it coming. The Altmans are supposed to be the fish out of water in the suburban pool of perfection. They are, and the good news is that George’s gift for being real did sorta win out in the end. Still, his and Dallas’s is not what I would call a match made in heaven.

What was funny on Wednesday night’s episode was Dallas’s ridiculous attempts to control how she and George were going to have sex. In typical Dallas fashion, it was all about the flash, with her flying in and providing a gospel choir to fulfill George’s supposed fantasy. And then, she “climaxed” before George even had a chance to get to first base. Think she’s got a few problems with intimacy?

The second plot, with Dalia (Carly Chaikin) getting all messed up over her father’s impending marriage to a Singaporean flight attendant who doesn’t speak English, also had some lovely bits. It was sad watching Dalia dismissing her crew, the KKK, but even funnier when Tessa came to their rescue. That fact that Tessa dumped them on Lisa was understandable. I also loved that Lisa got fed up, too.

But what I really enjoy about the show is that Tessa does have a conscience. She didn’t just leave the KKK to wander the streets like the hapless, brainless idiots they are. She found a home for them. And when it became clear that Dalia was in serious trouble, Tessa ran to help.

Still, the crowning moment of the evening was when George finally sat Dallas down for a talk, telling her what he wants from sex is connection and caring, just about everything every straight woman on the planet wants from her guy. I could even forgive flannel shirts for a guy like that (I almost have one). I also loved that Dallas’s eventual assessment of the activity in question was “pretty decent.”

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Watch Modern Family – Arrested Online S04E07

Modern Family - Arrested The Dunphy’s receive a call in the middle of the night and learn that Haley’s been arrested.

Mitchell and Cam get a call from Claire. She tells Mitchell that she needs him to go in case she needs a lawyer. Mitchell and Cam argue about Claire belittling his parenting skills.

Jay and Gloria get a call and Claire tells them about Haley getting arrested. She asks Jay if he still has influence with a judge, but he says that he had died. Gloria hears this and thinks that Jay’s friend died, but it was five years ago.

Cam serves the kids breakfast. Lily reveals to Luke and Alex that Haley got arrested. They sit down and eat the vegan bacon, which Luke loves. Cam reveals how Mitchell says that it’s still fake and not bacon and hates it. Cam tells the kids that it’s made out of soy and Alex reveals that Luke is allergic to soy.

In the car ride up to Haley, Claire is driving slow so Haley can stay in jail. She is upset that she got arrested and hates that Phil is so calm.

Gloria wants Jay to go with him to get a stroller. Manny wants someone to go to a spoken word festival, but Jay doesn’t want to go. He receives a call from Dede. She says she wants to pick up a photo album. He hasn’t told her that Gloria is pregnant.

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Watch Bones – The Method in the Madness Online S08E05

Bones - The Method in the Madness Bones‘ fifth episode in season 8 “The Method in the Madness” was a Sweets (John Francis Daley) heavy episode and explored the artisan business. It’s time for the weekly recap of Bones and its amusing episode.

With possibly its best opening in its eight seasons, Bones captivated viewers with two garbage men singing while a body falls out of the truck.

Cut to Sweets casually sleeping in his office when Booth (David Boreanaz) stops by with a case and becomes concerned for his mental health. Booth offers a place to stay for “a night or two.” We’ll see how long this lasts.

As seen in the clip posted by Hypable previously, Booth informs Brennan (Emily Deschanel) about the change, who seems fine with it saying, “it takes a village to raise a child.”

Hodgins (T.J. Thyne) notes the murder timeline, and warns that Sweets is never dating anyone again. Do you want him to get together with FBI Special Agent Olivia Sparling (Danielle Panabaker) or back together with Daisy (Carla Gallo)?

Cam (Tamara Taylor) deduces that the victim was alive when her skin was eviscerated. Meanwhile squintern Colin Fisher (Joel David Moore), Hodgins, and Brennan debate the brutality of the Incas. It looks like Angela (Michaela Conlin) will have to put the face back together piece by piece.

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Watch Family Guy – The Old Man & the Big C Online S11E03

Family Guy - The Old Man & the Big C For the penultimate episode of “Family Guy” before next week’s benchmark 200th episode hour-long extravaganza MacFarlane and Co. coasted a bit, but it was still a mildly enjoyable show. In the cheekily-titled “The Old Man and the Big C,” Brain and Stewie stumble across what they think is a big secret: that Lois’ father, the insanely-monikered Mr. Pewterschmidt (is that an in-joke reference I’m not getting?) is dying of cancer. This turns out to be the half of it, as not only does he have cancer, but the cure as well, which Mr. P. has opted to keep to himself instead of sharing with the world at large.

Eventually, Lois catches wind of it and makes him promise to reveal it to the world, but he ultimately doesn’t, coasting by on his rascally charm. Or, as Peter puts it: “He’ll just do a magazine cover with a wink to who he is and all will be forgiven.” Cut to: a magazine cover, with an impish Mr. P. and the headline “Oh, Carter, you Devil!” Cue the wah-wah tuba- which they actually did with a tuba at one point earlier, over on “The Cleveland Show.” Since “Family Guy” airs later than that, it would have been cute for this show to end with a call-back from that show, but whatevs.

Meanwhile, Quagmire got exposed as…having worn a toupee all this time. Amusingly, after he was found out, he stopped wearing it and immediately degenerated into a cross between the current “Get off my lawn!” incarnation of Clint Eastwood and a doddering old mental patient- oh wait, that might be the same thing.

Spending his time shouting at passers-by things like “Drive like Hell, you’ll get there!” the guys are more than a little worried about Mr. Giggety. Although, as Peter noted, “I guess all this time Quagmire should have been saying “Wiggety.” Wah-wah.

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